MARRIAGE IS A PRIVATE AFFAIR BY Chinua Achebe(four level)

Marriage Is a Private Affair

Chinua Achebe’s story “Marriage Is a Private Affair” opens with a discussion between a young woman named Nene and a young man named Nnaemeka, who live in Lagos, Nigeria; they are in love and plan to marry. Nene wants Nnaemeka to inform his father of their plans as soon as possible, but the young man is nervous. He anticipates that his father, a member of the Ibo tribe who lives in rural Nigeria, will not approve his son’s marriage to a woman of the son’s own choosing, especially when the father discovers that Nene is not an Ibo. Nene cannot believe that anyone would care so much about tribal background; she urges Nnaemeka to write his father a letter informing him of the couple’s plans. Nnaemeka, however, thinks it would be better to tell his father in person, especially since he has recently received a letter from his father informing him that the father has already chosen a bride for him, a woman in whom Nnaemeka has no interest. In his letter, the father informed Nnaemeka that the girl he had found for his son to marry is a good Christian and has received all the training necessary to make her a good wife.

Back home in his native village, Nnaemeka and his father talk. Nnaemeka asks forgiveness and then reveals that he does not love the woman his father has chosen for him—a fact that matters little to his father. Nnaemeka also reveals that he has found a woman (Nene) whom he loves and wants to marry. He explains that Nene is also a good Christian and that she is a schoolteacher. Believing that the Bible prohibits women from being teachers, his father is infuriated. After the father delivers a sermon on this topic, he begins to calm down, but he becomes enraged again when he discovers that Nene is not even an Ibo. The father abruptly leaves his son alone; that evening the father cannot even eat. He considers the intended marriage a plot by the devil. Okeke, father Nnaemeka, refuses to accept this marriage mainly because Nene comes from a different tribe. In fact, it is expected, as Okeke has already chosen a wife for his son from their tribe.

Nnaemeka, however, rejects his father's will and shows a determination to marry the woman that he chooses for himself. Because of this, he returns to Nene and the city. Hence, Okeke refuses to accept the wedding picture that his son sends him, cutting Nene out of it as a symbol of the way that he cannot accept his marriage. It appears that no resolution is possible. It is only much later, after eight years on that Nene writes to her father-in-law saying that her two sons want to meet and to get to know their grandfather. It is this move that makes Okeke regrets his actions at distancing himself from his son and his grandchildren, and as the story ends we see Okeke resolving to make up with Nnaemeka’s family.

"Marriage Is a Private Affair" tells the story of two young people who find themselves caught in a clash between old and new. Nene belongs to the Ibibo tribe, a region of southeastern Nigeria, while her soon to be husband Nnaemeka belongs to the Ibo tribe. When Nnaemeka moves to Lagos, the capital of Nigeria, to be with Nene an ancient tradition has clearly been broken. While Nene is excited to share her plans of marriage, Nnaemeka isn't so sure, for his father, Okeke is strongly against the marriage because Nene belongs to a different tribe. Nnaemeka was able to keep a small glimmer of hope, thinking that with time his father would change his mind. However the old man could only reply, "I will never see her." This leaves Nnaemeka no choice but to move on without the consent of his father. He and Nene begin a happy marriage together, his father being one of the last people to know, and accept it. Then one day, the Okeke receives an unexpected letter from Nene herself that leaves him with a hard choice to make, one that could result in him fighting a losing battle.

Conflicts in Marriage Is a Private Affair

In "Marriage is a Private Affair" by Chinua Achebe, he explores the problems of individuals seeking love and fulfillment in a changing culture. The main character (protagonist) is confronted with the problem of having many obstacles stand in between his true love. He must make the choice of whether to follow his heart or follow his culture. In "Marriage is a Private Affair" the main character must decide whether he will obey his father or marry the one he loves.  Here, the main character decides to follow his heart and marry Nene rather than follow his culture where Marriage is still a family affair.

Likewise, the father of Nnaemeka Okeke also faces both external and internal conflicts. The External conflict that the father Okeke faces is the rejection to Nene because she is not part of their tribe and therefore has other customs and values than in their culture. Nene in Okeke's eyes is not worthy of his son for she is from a different culture lives in the city unlike Ugoye the girl he has arranged his son in marriage.  Internal conflict is when Okeke realizes that his actions have affected his relationship with his grandsons already even when they haven't met yet. He tries to keep strong and firm but goes weak in the thought of them because bottom line they are his family so knowing that is hurtful for he has been absence for so long.

Interpretation:

 Following heart over following the culture, traditional values and individual choice, changing notions about marriage (Marriage is different thing today)

Critical Thinking:

 Why Okeke keeps the picture of his son and returns the picture of his wife back to him when he says that he has nothing to do with both of them? Why Okeke hates his own son just because he has decided to marry a girl outside of his tribe? Why tribes’ people use nasty word for Nene? Why the story ends without Okeke meeting up with his grandsons? Why Okeke only picks few quotes Bible to strengthen his points of view ignoring all other verses about love and tolerance?